Lifestyles / Young Men
The down side of living on your own at 16+

I work with a lot of the young people aged between 16 to 18 years old, who often say that they want to get their own place and get away from their parents.

They tend to have very strong opinions on how they are ready to live on their own, and how they will have their freedom, to come and go as they like, they can have their friends over anytime and play their music as loud as they like.

What I don’t tend to hear is any strong future plans. Even though they get help with their budgeting, cooking skills, support with benefits and careers advice, very few take it seriously and are ready when it really is time to live on their own.

After a few months of coping on their own, they soon realise that life in the big wide world is not as easy as they thought.

In the real world gas and electricity is not free, so you can’t just turn the music down, you have to switch it off. You can’t burn the heating all night, because it is not practical, and if you don’t wash up and clean your surroundings then it won’t just get done by itself.

As far as friends go, they like the fact that you have your own place to come and make a mess and eat out your food, drink, smoke and chill out/in, but what happens when your food runs out? Will they have money to help you, or do they just go back home to their comforts, free heating, light, food and drink on a tap?

All the things that you would want again but because you may have different circumstances and are from the care system then this is now your life and there is no mum to pick up after you.

This is why so much structure is put in place for young people in the care system, and it’s not long, it’s tried and tested.

So if you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention. Don’t rush the process and don’t envy anyone, because we all have our own cross to bear.

CHOICES and EARLY CHOICES are URSpecial’s Programmes for Children and Young People, designed to equip them with the essential tools to build confidence and life skills and it meets the five every Child Matters Outcomes. For more information call 0700 2222 700.